WARNING!!!
QUILT FEVER OUTBREAK
Very Contagious/ Frequent Relapses Possible
SYMPTOMS- Victim has a continual need to cut and piece fabrics, frequent episodes of listlessness, anxiety, and the inability of hearing spouse and children in the household. Victim will also experience the inability to comprehend anything other than sewing or quilting information and will feel the need to withdrawal into the sewing room. The desire for cooking meals, cleaning the house, looking after the children, doing laundry or even going to her job (if applicable), is gone.
No Known Cure!!!
TREATMENT- Quilting magazines, guild meetings, quilt shop hops and quilt shows help with the treatment, but, should not be used alone. Medication is useless. Disease is not fatal for the victim, but, others in the household should fear for their life if further treatment for the victim is not given immediate attention. Victim should be taken immediately to a quilting shop, more if necessary, where she may obtain fabric and items needed for a quilting project. Once all fabrics and items are obtained, take her home to her sewing room for uninterrupted seclusion. This is a MUST!! Items she will also need for recovery of this exacerbation of symptoms will be a rotary cutter, cutting mat, rulers, iron and ironing board, various threads, a sewing machine in good working condition, good lighting, and of course, the fabrics and items that was purchased, along with a pattern of her choice. This uninterrupted seclusion should last for a couple days, so she should be brought drinks of her choice for hydration as needed, snacks as she desires, and three good meals per day, again of her choice. NOTE- As stated above, there is a high risk for frequent relapses in all cases. When this happens, victim should have longer periods of uninterrupted seclusion, lasting up to a week or more. Outside help with household duties and child care is advised if the spouse or other household members are not willing to do it themselves.
Written by: C.M., April 23, 2004